Just Hang On! – When Things get Tough

Posted on Jul 27, 2021 in San Diego Lawyer | Comments Off on Just Hang On! – When Things get Tough

Just Hang On!

Just Hang On! was originally published in the California Society of Tax Consultants e-newsletter “The Reporter” February 2021

GQ’s cat Skippy hanging on.

Rick & Robin

Rick married Robin and after a while they welcomed their first son into the world. He was perfect. While it’s true that most parents believe their kids are perfect, at least at first, this kid really was exceptional. He was good looking, tall for his age, learned to speak earlier than normal, and in preschool he excelled above his classmates. He was a pleasure to parent. Several years later, Robin gave birth to their second son who seemed to be just like his brother, until they noticed very early on that he wasn’t. He was a handful as a baby and as a toddler developed some behaviors that required a parent’s full time attention. He was diagnosed with autism. The pre-school couldn’t handle him and the school system could not meet his needs. He was constantly kicked out of organized activities due to uncontrollable behavior and the inability of his teachers and coaches to manage him. The couple struggled through some very difficult times that challenged everything they tried. Their third son was born with Aspergers and their fourth son with Down’s syndrome. They had their hands full.

Keep It Together Man!

Rick wrote a book called “Keep it Together Man” – For Dads With A Special Kid”. I have known Rick and seen him at functions around town for years but have not had much close interaction with him. I always saw him as an easy going and happy guy who had a great attitude about everything. His wife Robin has always been a kind and loving person who I would see occasionally at service projects where we served together. For the past year I got to work with two of their sons in a youth group. They are a lot of fun to be with. To learn more about him and his family, I decided to read his book “Keep it Together Man” and was totally blown away by his life story with his four sons and daughter. It is truly inspirational to know what they have gone through raising three special needs boys while remaining sane and happy. Nothing they did as a family was ordinary, it was extraordinary. Toward the end of his book Rick declares “I am the luckiest man alive”. His life exemplifies love, strength of character, and grit. He truly believes he is the luckiest man alive and the way he and Robin live proves it.

Happy Despite Hardship

Why do some people seem happy despite hardship, illness, and loss while others who seem to have it all are miserable? How do some people keep pushing forward against what seem like impossible odds while others give up at the first sign of stress or strain? There are many books, articles, and podcasts available to tell us how to be happy and successful, but not all of them work for everyone. Each of us needs to find what works for us and our special cases. The longer I stomp around on this planet, the more I feel the aches, pains, and limitations that seem to come with grey hair. Every time something else starts to hurt, I need to make a choice. Am I going to complain about it and stop trying, or am I going to look at what I can do and keep pushing forward, perhaps using a different method? Through his book and his friendship, Rick taught me that it does not do any good to stop trying, because that does not make the problem go away. The only way to solve the problem is to work through it. Unfortunately, no one is going to sweep in and rescue me from my situation. That only happened in movies. Pushing forward requires effort and belief that you can solve it. The longer I live, the more I realize just how resourceful people can be when they put their mind to it.

During this year of tremendous change, it has thrilled me to see how creative people are in solving problems. The ways that people have changed their businesses and their personal and family practices to get through tough times is truly inspirational.

As an attorney I get to talk with people every day about their personal and business situations. I have found that no matter where we are in life – financially or otherwise – most of us live at or very near to the end of our ropes. It seems to me that no one has it easy and no one has it on cruise control.

End of Your Rope

A wise man once said that living at the end of our rope is not far from reality – the key is to tie a knot and hang on. To that I would add; while you are hanging on, take a look around at all the incredible, beautiful, and creative things that surround you and draw inspiration from them. As long as you have a knot tied at the end of your rope and are hanging on with one claw, you will be fine. But, you must hang on.

As members of CSTC we are enjoying the fruits of “hanging on” together and changing how things are done in new and better ways. We have provided awesome continuing education to thousands of people online and our membership is growing every month. Last month we added 49 new members to our ranks! That’s fantastic! Welcome news members! Thanks for joining us on our journey to “improve the tax industry one professional at a time”.

Please take a few minutes every day to look around at all the incredible, beautiful, and creative things that surround you and get inspired.

Have a fantastic February!

Your friend and President, Gary Quackenbush.

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